Time for sleep my darling,
Time to rest your eyes,
Not a peep from you now,
Until the sun starts to rise.
Time to snooze now, sweetheart,
You’ve had a busy day,
You’ve burnt off lots of energy,
You’ve had loads of time to play.
Just lie down now, please son,
You really must be tired,
Your body needs the rest now,
Even if your brother is wired.
Please stop screeching now, dude,
I can barely hear myself think,
It’s already way past bedtime,
And Mummy needs a drink.
This really isn’t funny, mate,
That protest poo wasn’t fair,
I need to have some peace now,
Grown ups have red wine to share.
For fucks sake, go to sleep now,
No, the dark isn’t scary,
No there aren’t any monsters,
But Daddy and I want to get lairy.
Bloody hell, another wee,
You’re really taking the piss,
If every night is going to be like this,
I’ll be giving bedtimes a miss.
I’m not fucking joking anymore,
The wine is calling my name,
Just close your eyes and lie the fuck down,
I’m about to go insane.
No, your leg is not hurting,
No, you haven’t bumped your head.
If you fucking carry on with this shit,
You’ll be sleeping in the shed.
Right, your brother is asleep now,
And I have had enough,
I don’t care if the pillow feels a little lukewarm.
You’ll have to deal with it, tough.
Thank goodness, peace at last,
The wine begins to pour,
We’ll sit on our phones in silence,
Whilst you just snore and snore.
We sneak to peek at your sleeping face,
Your angelic glow has us hooked,
But if you pull this shit tomorrow night,
You and your brother can get fucked.